“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Brené Brown
In the fast-paced, high-stakes world of startups, leadership is often equated with confidence, decisiveness, and results. But Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead flips the script, reminding us that the foundation of exceptional leadership isn’t bravado—it’s vulnerability. This isn’t the kind of vulnerability that makes you weak or unsure; it’s the kind that fuels innovation, builds trust, and inspires teams to push past what they thought was possible.
If you’re a founder—or aspire to lead in any capacity—this book will meet you where you are: navigating the emotional rollercoaster of growing something from the ground up. It’s not just a guide to leadership; it’s a guide to leading from your heart, with courage and clarity. Let’s dive into the core lessons and stories from the book and explore how they apply to the wild, wonderful world of startups.
Lesson 1: Courage Starts with Vulnerability
Startup founders live in the land of uncertainty. Whether it’s pitching to investors, launching a new product, or giving tough feedback to a team member, the risk of failure is constant. Brené tells us that courage and vulnerability are inseparable—you can’t have one without the other. Vulnerability isn’t about oversharing or exposing every doubt you have. It’s about showing up authentically, even when you don’t have all the answers.
A Story to Remember:
Brené shares a story about a senior executive who avoided giving critical feedback to an underperforming team member because it felt too uncomfortable. Instead, the ambiguity and avoidance created more frustration and confusion for the team. This is where Brené’s mantra comes in: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
For Founders:
Think about a tough conversation you’ve been putting off. Maybe it’s addressing a co-founder’s lack of accountability or admitting to your team that a project didn’t go as planned. Lean into that discomfort, and show up with clarity and honesty. These moments—while challenging—build trust, strengthen relationships, and set the tone for a culture of transparency. Remember, your vulnerability as a leader gives your team permission to be real too. And in the startup world, authenticity beats perfection every time.
Lesson 2: Live and Lead by Your Values
Values aren’t just motivational wall art. They’re the north star guiding every decision, action, and interaction in your company. Brené challenges leaders to define two core values—yes, just two—and operationalize them into actionable behaviors. It’s not enough to say, “We value innovation.” The question is: What does innovation look like in practice? How do we reward it? How do we model it?
A Story to Remember:
Brené recounts a powerful exercise she did with her team at the University of Texas, where they translated their values into specific, non-negotiable behaviors. One of their values was accountability, and one actionable behavior was this: “We don’t gossip; we address issues directly with the people involved.” Simple, right? But putting it into practice required intentionality and trust.
For Founders:
Ask yourself: What are your company’s core values? How do those values influence your hiring, decision-making, and culture-building? Better yet, involve your team in defining these values. When your values are clear and actionable, they become the DNA of your startup, ensuring that every decision aligns with the kind of company you want to build.
Lesson 3: Trust is Built in Small Moments
Startups run on trust—trust between co-founders, trust between you and your team, and trust between you and your customers. Brené breaks trust into seven actionable elements with her BRAVING framework:
- Boundaries: Respect what’s okay and what’s not.
- Reliability: Do what you say you’ll do.
- Accountability: Own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.
- Vault: Keep confidences; don’t share what’s not yours to share.
- Integrity: Choose courage over comfort.
- Non-Judgment: Create a safe space for vulnerability.
- Generosity: Assume the best in others.
A Story to Remember:
Brené shares a story about a moment with her daughter that changed her perspective on trust. After forgetting to pick her up on time, Brené realized trust isn’t built through grand gestures but through small, consistent moments of reliability and care. That’s true in families—and in startups.
For Founders:
Look for small ways to build trust every day. Maybe it’s as simple as delivering on a promise to your team or owning up to a mistake in a client meeting. Over time, these moments create a culture where people feel safe, valued, and connected.
Lesson 4: Failure is Data, Not a Dead End
As a founder, failure is inevitable. The question isn’t if you’ll fail—it’s how you’ll respond when you do. Brené’s “Reckoning, Rumble, Revolution” framework is a roadmap for rising stronger after setbacks:
- Reckoning: Own your emotions and the story you’re telling yourself about the failure.
- Rumble: Get curious and dig into the truth behind the failure. What assumptions or fears are driving your reaction?
- Revolution: Turn those lessons into action and change.
A Story to Remember:
Brené talks about working with a team that experienced a major product failure. Instead of sweeping it under the rug, the leader created space for the team to process their emotions and extract valuable lessons from the experience. That openness not only rebuilt morale but also sparked innovation for their next product iteration.
For Founders:
When failure strikes, don’t run from it. Pause, process, and unpack it with your team. Normalize the idea that failure isn’t fatal—it’s a step on the path to growth. This shift in mindset can transform setbacks into powerful opportunities for learning and innovation.
Lesson 5: Armored vs. Daring Leadership
In the chaos of startup life, it’s easy to default to what Brené calls “armored leadership”—relying on control, perfectionism, or defensiveness to shield yourself from discomfort. But armored leadership stifles creativity and connection. Instead, Brené challenges us to practice “daring leadership,” which is rooted in courage, empathy, and curiosity.
A Story to Remember:
In one of her workshops, Brené worked with a leader who realized their tendency to micromanage was a form of armor—an attempt to control outcomes and avoid vulnerability. When that leader started asking open-ended questions and giving their team more autonomy, the results were transformative: higher engagement, greater trust, and better performance.
For Founders:
Ask yourself: Am I leading with armor or courage? Let go of the need to be the smartest person in the room or to have all the answers. Instead, lead with curiosity and compassion. You’ll not only inspire your team but also create the kind of environment where innovation thrives.
The Final Takeaway: Daring Leadership is a Daily Practice
Leadership isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up. It’s about leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability, living by your values, and building trust one small moment at a time. As a founder, these practices aren’t just “nice to have”—they’re essential for creating a resilient, innovative, and purpose-driven company.
Here’s your challenge: What’s one daring step you can take today? Maybe it’s having that tough conversation, defining your company values, or reflecting on a recent failure with curiosity. Whatever it is, remember this: courage isn’t a trait you’re born with—it’s a skill you build every time you choose to lead with heart.
If this resonated with you, I encourage you to pick up Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead. And if you’re already feeling inspired, share this with your co-founders or team. Leadership is a journey, and together, we can all dare to lead.
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